Adlerian Principles of Parent Education

• Mutual respect

• Encouragement

• Feelings of "security"

• Reward and punishment are ineffective.

• Natural consequences are the direct result of the child's behaviour, i.e. Tommy refuses to wear a coat while it is raining: he will get wet.

• Logical consequences are established by the parents, and are a direct and logical--not arbitrarily imposed -- consequence of the behaviour, i.e. Helen doesn't want to eat her lunch: she will be hungry until teatime.

• Acting instead of talking

• Don't interfere in children's fights.

• Take time for teaching the child essential skills and habits. Don't attempt this in a moment of conflict or in company. The parent who "does not have time" for such teaching will have to spend more time correcting an untrained child.

• Never do for a child what he can do for himself.

• Overprotection pushes a child down.
• Over-responsible parents often produce irresponsible children.
• Distinguish between positive and negative attention
• Understand the child's goal.
• The four goals of misbehaviour…

• Attention-getting • Power • Revenge • Display of assumed inadequacy
If your first impulse is to react in one of these four ways, you can be fairly sure you have discovered the goal of the child's misbehaviour.

• Minimize mistakes

• A Family Meeting once a week or so, can give every member of the family a chance to express certain issues and discuss what can be done about them. The emphasis should be on "What we can do about the situation."

• Have fun together…

retrieved from the net 2.04.07


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